Monday, August 27, 2007

Sooooooo tiiiiiired

Got no sleep last night--the chicken factory across the street from my apartment was SO loud, it was fucking epic--steel boxes clanging, chickens screaming, workers yelling at each other, and, just for ambience, two-ton trucks barreling by every minute or so. The best is when they hit potholes on Greenpoint Ave going 80 mph. It sounds like the apocalypse.

Also, the G-Train was fucked this morning...I got to the subway at 9am, and ended up waiting close to 30 minutes for a Manhattan-bound train, while watching the Queens-bound trains fly by on the other side of the track, one after another. This crazy stick-figure model girl standing next to me looked so mad, she kept clenching her cell-phone tighter and tighter, I was afraid she would pulverize it. Finally got to the GC half-walked, half-crawled down 5th Ave, then got to the computer lab and somehow managed to find the only non-working PC. It took 10 minutes to boot up. Feels like my brain.

Flashback to yesterday: so far, I think, the best day in New York yet. It was the first day where I actually didn't feel useless, alienated, and alone in this city with no friends and no money. After Myka left to visit her grandparents (swimming in Long Island--odd, but apparently people do this), I took the F-train to Park Slope, which is in downtown Brooklyn. Very gentrified--almost the exact opposite of Greenpoint, and eerily reminiscent of Kits in Vancouver, complete with smiling blonde couples carrying yoga mats and designer dogs. Browsed around a few used bookstores, then went dumpster-diving and found this AMAZING table-tray on wheels, solid wood and well-made, just sitting outside a palatial brownstone. All I could think of was how much it looked like the brownstone from The Cosby Show. I grabbed the table and hauled it all the way back to Greenpoint on the subway. Then I found a lampshade, a chair, and two great shelves, all discarded. Trash day is like Christmas in New York.

Went to the local produce shop and bought carrots, beets, baby squash, brocoli, and a yellow pepper, all for $2. I'm serious. At least some things are cheap here. Made a kickass veggie sautee with tumeric and balsamic vinegar. I bought a cheap bottle of red wine to share with Myka (6 bucks--I could become an alcoholic again, something to look forward to). Unfortunately, or fortunately--as the case may be--"sharing with Myka" turned into drinking the whole bottle myself while listening to Jill Scott and dancing around the aparment with Myka's scarf, pretending to be Eryka Badhu. Cuz I'm just queer that way.

About halfway through the bottle, I decided I was tired of my sweat-soaked, shaggy hair, and it seemed like a capital idea to buzz it all off with my electric razor. Since my razor doesn't have a hair-cutting attachment, I figured it would work just as well to use the beard-trimmer. Well, this did work, very well in fact, but it took a few drunken passes, and then I had to even it out at 3am, since I wasn't sleeping anyways and the OCD gremlin inside of me just knew that it looked like I'd stuck my head in a lawn-mower. Suffice it to say, my hair is now roughly a 5 O'Clock shadow, I'm a lot cooler, and I'm trying to drown my hangover and lack of sleep with vitamin water.

All in all, a sweet day. Now if only I could stay awake long enough to read Bourdieu...why the fuck did I assign this to my students?


Tez Miller said...

Free stuff - 'tis cool.

Have a lovely day! :-)

cynical romantic said...

you say "chicken factory", i say "chicken slaughterhouse". let's call the whole thing off.

G.Lyons said...

Hey Jes, post a pic of your buzz, svp.....from the back maybe, to preserve your anonymity?

There's nothing quite like a freshly shorn Battis. It's breathtaking. I it.

jes battis said...

"My childhood was typical...louge the springtime, we wore meat helmets...."

- dr evil