Thanks, Kinko's

C'mon, did you really think I'd wait for Ace to email me the .jpg? It's me. Anyways, I think this cover rawks. I squealed with glee when I opened the fedex package and saw it!

Cover Goodness

Just got the cover flats for NIGHT CHILD--they are so frickin awesome! It turned out wonderfully, and the art dept was even nice enough to do some creative cropping so that Tess's skinny arm was obscured a bit. Skinny sells, unfortunately, and I understand that. But she did get a sexy "OSI" badge, and Ace is calling it the "OSI Series," which is encouraging. At least they expect more books!

I will post it as soon as I get a .jpg copy (or when I break down and scan it myself).

I had a chimichanga for dinner tonight that was as big as my freakin head. As big as my head. I swear.

Irony

Just finished a shitpile of photocopying, and now I'm trying to secretly drink my cherry coke without getting caught by the Skeksi-like librarians at John Jay College. That Dark Crystal reference was for Riley, by the way, even though he probably doesn't read this. And because he doesn't read this, I shall call him Riley Bear, which is the secret nickname that Matt and I always call him because he's so sweet and cuddley. Jen, if you're reading this, don't worry...I'm in love with the sea.

It's hot and stale in this library, but it's the only place I can get obscure forensic titles, because that's how I roll when I'm working on novel #2. Yeah, it probably looks weird when I'm photocopying my book on police tactical maneuvers, but I just grin and say "I'm writing a novel," and the librarians relax. Luckily, I was able to find the one copier loaded with legal paper. Not sure why they're playing classical music downstairs.

On my way to Park Slope, land of the eternal yoga mat, for dinner. Mmmm...burritos.

Happy Grumpy

Found a new cafe today...Cafe Grumpy on Meserole Ave. Despite their name, the staff is friendly, the espresso is great, and they have chocolate chip zucchini raspberry muffins. I think that sentence had faulty parallelism, but I don't really care. It's a little bit of a walk, but once you get here, the place is huge, and they have free wireless.

Since the closure of Ashbox, which I'm still mourning, I'm looking for a new cafe to work in. So far, this place gets high marks. Tomorrow I'm going to check out Cafe Greenpoint, which I've heard has actual couches and booths. Yes, this is my life at the moment. Myka asked me if I was bored the other day because I didn't have a lot of structure, and I was like: "No. Not one bit." I fucking love not having structure right now. All I have to do is write, read, and dodge the student loan people who keep calling me. No speakey the english, sorree.

Have to go to NYPL later to do some photocopying, since I owe the CUNY library money as well (can we see a pattern here?) Then I'm having burritos with Marty and ej in Park Slope. Sounds like a good day.

Unicorn Planet

Ok, so I didn't go the gym today (although the day isn't over yet). But I did do a LOT of walking around the Cloisters in Fort Tryon Park. The park is amazing (and empty) with fantastic views of the Hudson and the Brooklyn Bridge. And the Cloisters themselves have the best medieval art I've ever seen. The unicorn tapestries were so incredible close-up, with such magnificent detail, that they brought tears to this cynic's eyes. And speaking of eyes--the unicorn's eyes are so haunting and rich that you could just stare at them for hours. The hounds surrounding him look fierce one moment, then sad the next, and the blood is still a deep red after five-hundred years. There was also a female saint's reliquary that looked eerily like Gwyneth Paltrow. I'm not kidding. Could she be a Highlander? That would explain so much.

Got my mom a present, too, but I'm not telling what it is. That's right, mom, and don't try to guess!

Still Humming

Went to Astoria in Queens today for a nice walk. Very chill neighborhood that reminds me of a fusion between Vancouver's Main St and Commercial Dr, with lots of great food. Had amazing ekmek (custard over shredded pastry dipped in honey and whipped cream) at Omonia Cafe on 33d/Broadway. My Greek coffee was strong enough to induce an altered state of consciousness, and at one point I may have looked at the face of God. Seriously, that coffee was a meal.

Tomorrow the gym starts. Tomorrow! The gym! Starts! Seriously.

GSR

One of my favorite CSI moments ever. Feeling a bit like Sarah tonight, for some reason. Kinda on the outside of a lot of different things, and not quite sure where I fit in. Or if. But the loves in my life are like cherry red Go-Karts flashing to and fro, and that's a hell of a lot of something good.

Did That Just Happen?

Well, I finally did it. I joined a gym. The YMCA in Greenpoint only charges $39/mo, and if you sign up in January they waive the $75 member fee. So I couldn't resist. All of the classes are free, plus you get to use the pool and everything else, and it's open 24hrs. It'll be really hard to avoid going to the gym when I know that it's open all night. I hope.

I also got a toque for $1. It's pure acrylic, but at least if the apartment eats it I won't care.

Cupcakes Prove That God Loves Us

Went to Bluestockings today and almost bought Jasbir Puar's Terrorist Assemblages, but managed to resist and just got a coffee. I still have to read the review copy of Spivak's Other Asias that Wiley sent me. Sweet, sweet review copies. It's so nice to be affiliated with a school so that I can get free swag. I mean...it's so nice to be...a scholar. Right.

Stopped by Sugar Sweet Sunshine, the LES bakery run by two former-Magnolia employees. It's just like Magnolia, only the staff are nice, and you don't have to wait in line for 20 minutes to get a cupcake. Mmmm...red velvet.

Now, I wasn't going to eat any more, but then I walked by Katz Deli on Houston (where Meg Ryan faked her orgasm in When Harry Met Sally), and I couldn't resist. It's very efficient. You get a blue ticket at the door, then get into the appropriate (long) line and present your ticket. I just got a hot dog because I couldn't eat a whole sandwich, but the kraut was amazing.

The weirdest thing I saw on my walk was a bunch of shattered Christmas ornaments on Rivington St. I think someone may have thrown them out the window. Oh, and a giant mural with Big Bird standing next to an American flag. No trace of irony.

The highlight of my day was when a cool-looking LES chick complimented me on my pink skull scarf. I was beaming with hipster joy.

Jim + Pam 4Ever

Oh John Krazinski. I would gladly give up my research fellowship to work with you at Dunder-Mifflin. But only if Pam made me an Office Olympics medal out of paper clips and yogurt wrappers.

Cloverfield II

Jesus, is there going to be a 300-style battle between "Anonymous" (aka Steve Jobs) and Scientology? I'm kind of hoping for something out of Cloverfield.

Or, what if it's Tara Reid? Could it be? Could it be Tara Reid? For so long, we've critically underestimated her, and nobody suspected that she might have access to a secular militia.

"Keep the Canolis."

Stopped by Cafe Roma in Little Italy today for some mind-blowing chocolate canolis. Yeah, yeah, real New Yorkers will complain that Little Italy has gone commercial and isn't really 'authentic' anymore, but this kid grew up in Chilliwack, British Columbia, and let me tell you--those fucking chocolate canolis are authentic to me.


Walked around Chinatown, got a little lost, but then the Canal St subway rose up in the distance like a giant red public call-box leading to the TARDIS. Only it was black, not red. And it didn't lead to the TARDIS. MTA should really look into this.

Where Is Thy Sting?

This is Captain Crunch, the Sting Ray, who I found at the New York Aquarium. You may call him Sir, or Mr. Captain Crunch. Please contact SSHRC to let them know how well my research is going.

Dunder Mifflin

As I watch Season One of The Office, I keep coming to the same conclusion. I am fucking in love with Steve Carell. And not just in love. I seriously want to bone the man. I want to do bad things with him that involve restraints and A/C adapters. Maybe even European voltage converters. He's just so weirdly freaking hot!

Is my love wrong?

Coney Island

Best. Day. Ever. Took the F train to Coney Island. The rides are all closed, but I like it that way, since it gives the place a haunted-house feel. You can even hear the wind howling through the Wonder Wheel. And it's so weird to be in New York and feel sand under your shoes.

Stopped by Nathan's for a chili-cheese dog. Yes mom, I really did, and it was stupendous. I felt a chill run down my spine as I watched the woman behind the counter squeezing artificial cheese from a giant yellow pump. I think I ate the whole thing in 2.4 seconds.

Then I hit the aquarium. Sharks! Jellyfish! Seahorses! Sting-Rays! I've never been to an aquarium before, or if I have I was so young that I can't remember. But I loved it! A giant walrus swam right in front of me and waved his fins.

Then I stopped off at Brighton Beach, which is possibly my new favorite neighborhood. There's something warm and dark and claustrophobic about it, like being in the middle of a giant flea market. So many fur hats. Everyone looks like a Russian spy. Everyone. Had some hair-raising coffee and cheese blintzes at Gina's Cafe. Had I really ever lived before trying these blintzes? Probably not. Do I worry about the fact that I mixed chili with cream-cheese? Yes. Yes I do. Would I do it again? Absolutely.

Now I'm going to watch The Office. I'm not getting paid, so why the fuck should I work? Except for that sequel I'm supposed to be writing. Huh. Hey, look over there! (Author ducks behind couch and vanishes)

Lolcats

Back in the USSR (I mean Brooklyn)

After an extended trip to Vancouver, and a pit-stop in Toronto (the center of the known universe), I just got back to New York today. It's always weird when you emerge from that tunnel onto 42nd ST, and the whole city is just there in all its dirty glory.

I knew I was back in New York because someone had taken a giant shit on the E train. Really. And nobody cared. The Toronto subway would be scandalized. The E-train is like the coked-out Lindsay Lohan of subway cars. And I love that crazy skank.

Mixed Nuts

My New Year's gift to you all: Miss Mutchnick, from Mixed Nuts, stuck in an elevator.